at last!!!!

At long last I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon.

It’s only been 25 months since I started this process. Geesh.

And though I did post previously that I would consider reconstruction if it was in the realm of possibilities, I have to tell you that I have changed my mind. I don’t want reconstruction. I did a LOT more research since that post. Here’s what would happen. I would need skin expanders inserted to provide a skin flap. Given the technique used on the left for mastectomy, where no soft tissue remains, there is no way that an implant would work, therefore a tram flap (major surgery where my own tissue is used from my stomach area—kind of like a tummy tuck) would have to be done. Want to know more about my options? Go here: www.breastreconstruction.ca.

There are a minimum of two procedures here, regardless of implant or tram flap. I can’t do more major surgery. That’s a personal statement, not a medical one. I’m tired of major surgeries. And I’m afraid of the potential for infection. Two surgeries, two abscesses—one more serious than the other. Enough is enough. I guess I better add that any course of action I choose to do would involve surgery and, as such, any surgery poses this risk of infection.What I want to avoid is major and multiple procedures, and complications. One surgery. That’s all I’m up for.

And, as I’ve said again and again, I don’t feel defined by breasts. I’m comfortable without. And that doesn’t mean that I’m not self-conscious in situations where I am meeting and interacting with new people who are unaware of my story, because I am, it’s just that I’m content and comfortable with Vince, my friends, my family and my co-workers. It’s about people knowing and/or loving me, the person on the inside and not what I am on the outside that has mattered to me.

So, my goal in my consultation is to talk about my wings and my ridged scar. Can either be improved so that I am more comfortable? I guess I’m finally about to find out.

The date? September 23rd.

namaste

1 thought on “at last!!!!

  1. I think you’re making the right decision. My friend Amy went through the whole reconstruction thing, and although she didn’t have inflammatory breast cancer, there was expanders, stretching, and then complications…incisions split (too much expansion) and then infection, and drains….
    Like you said sometime in the past…if there’s a situation where you feel breasts are appropriate for the evening, put a prosthetic on and have an evening…

    Breasts, we have been told our whole lives are part of what defines a woman, but you’re right, it has nothing to do with our physical appearance, but what’s inside that makes us the person that we are. It’s also other people’s perception of us that defines how feminine or masculine we feel we need to be at whatever given moment.

    You are indeed blessed to have Vince, family, friends and co-workers who are able to look past the physical and love the woman you are inside…the person you are inside, and in the end, that’s all we have…family, friends, love and a circle around us. That’s the mark our lives make when we leave this life…not how big or perky our boobs are.

    Andrew claims to feel the same way, and I think I’m fairly confident in stating that were I in your situation, he may miss breasts on me, but he’d be sensitive enough to never let me know that. We are indeed lucky women for having the men that love us!

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