huh…

Saw my oncologist today. He asked me how I was doing. I knew what he meant ~ he meant the mental part of it.

I sat there stunned. It wasn’t that I hesitated to tell him, it was because I stunned myself into realizing what I wasn’t thinking about.

When I was first recovering from surgery, every ache, pain, sniffle and general malaise caused me to panic. My chronic indigestion and panic about it even prompted my oncologist to schedule an abdominal CT scan (negative!).

So, here was my oncologist, doing his “listening to the patient” routine and all I could tell him is that I’m well and yes, I suppose I am worried about metastases, but it doesn’t dominate my thoughts.

And it’s true!

I don’t know when I stopped thinking about my cancer every single day and started living again, but I have and I am.

__________
namaste

2 thoughts on “huh…

  1. Good for you!
    As I understand it, from the steps by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, acceptance is the last one to hurdle.
    Keep your chin up!

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