mixed emotions

Today Dad shared with me that he’s finally sold the house. It was a private sale, no fuss and less hassle than if listed with a realtor.

Both my brother and I had been talking to Dad about downsizing and, in particular, moving in with Art for about a year now. He’s getting older and requires company and attention. As much as I would have loved to have had Dad come out and be with me, there are two things against that thought. First is the cost. Victoria is FREAKING expensive! I stay for the weather and the scenery…and a job I love. Secondly, and probably more importantly, Dad will have entertainment. Art coaches rugby, is active in the artistic community (poetry, plays, etc.) and is sociable (has many friends). And there’s a third reason, for the move not for the person, Dad has said that he’s lonely. Now he won’t be.

The mixed emotions are:


  • Happy that Dad will be with one of us to watch out for him. No more finding out from The Spy (a friend who works in the hospital, who only happens across Dad, she’s not actively seeking him) that Dad is in the hospital, because he’s lousy at keeping us informed.
  • Happy that he will have company, because his “lonely” comment breaks my heart, and short of moving back to Ontario, there was nothing I could do about it.
  • Happy that home ownership isn’t weighing over him. There is much that needs to be done on his house, much beyond his abilities and finances.


  • Sad because after 74 years, he is leaving the only town he has ever known; he is being uprooted from everything he knows.
  • Sad because he’s leaving one of the best doctors on the face of the planet; Dr. Boutine has been so good to Mom first and then Dad.
  • I’m sad for me too. Dad has been the biggest reason for me to return to Ontario, not that I have recently, and now  he’s leaving the only place that is still what I call ‘home’. Once he has left Ancaster, I will likely not see it again until it is time to lay him to rest with Mom. Ancaster without him or Mom just loses that ‘home’ feeling for me.


  • No change is easy to accept. It takes time to adjust. Dad has more adjustment than any.
  • I hope Moncton offers him health care that is quality care.
  • I hope he finds a doctor who respects him and treats him as a person instead of just as a patient.
  • I hope that Art and his fiancée will never regret taking him in.
  • And I hope one day he’ll consider visiting me again.

Dad, I support you 100%. I love you. This is the right decision.



1 thought on “mixed emotions

  1. Hey, I am NOT a spy…I just play one on occasion!
    Happy to hear that your dad has sold the house, no muss, no fuss. I’m sure it will take some time for everyone to adjust, but I’m with you on thinking this is a good decision.
    If we can help, you know where to find us!
    Kati et al!

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