So it has been over a week since I met with the plastic surgeon. I guess you could say that I needed to think a few things through.
He didn’t impress me. But that’s because he made a snap judgement about me. His first suggestion and to quote him, my best option, is to lose weight. Dr. Taylor wasn’t interested in even letting me discuss my “issues”. Not only didn’t he let me tell him a few things (he just totally shut me down), he lectured me on my diet. So here are those facts, just for you:
- I may be FAT (okay, obese), but my weight has been stable for 12 years.
- I eat organic.
- I am vegetarian.
- My carb choices are complex carbs.
- I don’t eat deep fried food.
- I don’t eat processed food; I must make it or it must be made fresh, end of story.
- And while I do not have a regular exercise regime, I do hike for a couple hours every weekend with Vince, mostly take the stairs at home, and generally try to move every day (some days even walking home from work)—the reason I don’t move well stems from degenerative bone disease, likelihood of arthritis, severe pronation and, oh yes, a balance disorder; moving through pain is tough, but I try.
My efforts, such as they are, to lose weight are hampered by my physical capabilities and the drug letrozole, which has listed “weight gain” as a side effect. I have cried (literally) my frustrations on both my doctor’s and endocrinologist’s shoulders. Both have said the same thing: I am eating healthy and I’m moving – what I’m doing is “healthy”; losing weight would be good, but since I’m doing the right things, I shouldn’t get too bent about the weight loss.
For the first time in long time, I was ashamed of my weight.
And so, his attitude clouded my ability to listen to my other options. I did hear them, I just didn’t ask wise questions and now need to research them a little. The second option is surgery to remove the fatty deposits, noting also that (1) I’d have more scars, and (2) it could make the lymphedema worse. The third option is liposuction. It’s not as flat an option as surgery, but less scarring, less risk to my lymphedema and less recovery time.
He then goes on to tell me that he doesn’t know if MSP will cover the costs, and he won’t do this privately (i.e. if I paid him), but I’m to get back to him to let him know what I want to do.
There’s a part of me that wants to walk away from it all. After all, how can I trust this guy to do a good job when he obviously thinks what he does? There’s the other part of me that says I deserve to be as comfortable as the next person and wonders what would have happened had I chosen reconstruction back in the day, would I have been denied because of my weight?
A lot more thinking ahead of me.
KT’s comment made me realize I omitted a key point: Dr. Taylor is the only plastic surgeon in the area who works with breast cancer patients. Oh, and I had it on good authority by my gp, my surgeon, a breast health navigator AND a personal patient of his that he is wonderful. Not in my books!