Then, also attending the conference were health care professionals from Victoria – I think I’ve mentioned that my physiotherapist was there, so was one of her co-workers and then I ran into Dorothy who is one of the Breast Health Navigators – a specialized nurse to help women with information, etc. when dealing with breast cancer surgery. Dorothy and I actually talked for about an hour or so after a session we both attended. I told her about my scars and the “wings” under my arms. Dorothy said that I should go to a plastic surgeon, that it was covered by the provincial health care, and see what the surgeon could do.
Between these two instances I got to thinking. Finally, I added in a third thought. I’m struggling with clothing – without any cleavage, I don’t have a lot of options.
So, I’m thinking. And thinking. Right now the only part of the consult that has any interest to me is the reduction of the extra skin/fat under my arms. I am open to the reconstruction idea, but undecided in a big way.
I initially chose not to do reconstruction for a few reasons. At first I was trying to deal with the cancer part separately from any reconstruction. And I was mad that I was forced to make that decision at all. Next: I had heavy, dense breasts, and not having breasts was meant to be liberating. I hate bras. And finally, I was damned if I was going to let society dictate how a woman should look. Not necessarily the best reasons, but they’re mine.
It’s obvious to me now that it’s been about needing to be in the proper head-space to think about it.
I’m not self-conscious in the public or at work, etc., about being breastless. I am self-conscious in my nudity. Overall there has been an effect on my self-confidence. Let me hasten to add that Vince would scoff at my worry about nudity, at least around him, saying that it doesn’t bother him.
Am I sounding like a head-case yet??
When I saw my GP to get the referral, she made me smile saying that I didn’t have to put up with the discomfort I’ve had, all I had to do was speak up and if she’d known, well, there wouldn’t have been any waiting.
Maybe there’s an update to this in the future, maybe not.