potty mouth

I have always had a bit of a potty mouth. My repertoire has consisted mainly of shit, bitch, bastard, a@@ and the proverbial f*. I’m not all that inventive in their use, unlike a dear friend DM, who can come up with some inspired combinations!

F* is probably one of the best words in the English language, it can be used as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, interjection, conjunction and tmesis (where it’s inserted into the middle of an existing word, e.g., abso-f*ing-lutely). It’s a choice word and used by practically everyone. Some of my more frequent expressions include:

  • f*
  • f* off
  • sweet f* all
  • f* it
  • f*ed
  • f*er
  • f* me
  • f* yeah
  • f* no
  • FML – f* my life
  • f* you
  • f* up
  • WTF – what the f*’
  • STFU – shut the f* up
  • f* a duck
  • motherf*er
  • holy f*
  • FUBAR – f*ed up beyond all repair/recognition
  • flying f*
  • clusterf*
  • un-f*ing-believeable
  • a personal favourite: f*ity f* f*

Some years ago I implemented an endeavour to clean up my potty mouth. A@@ became arse; son of a bitch became son of a beeswax, etc. My f* replacement is FLUFF, which you’ve seen it in this blog.

This past week totally tested my resolve to use fluff. If it could go wrong, it did. And all things that should be smooth sailing, developed leaks. It started before 9 a.m. on Monday and continued all week. The cherry on top of the cake began before 8:30 a.m. on Friday. I can’t remember a work week so full of crap as this one over the past three years. And that’s saying a lot for a job that straddles both politics and public service; it can be very interesting and sometimes frustrating. The f* bomb was dropped more times than I can count on Friday.

Here’s the thing: there’s something so satisfying in the hard consonant at the end of the word f* that fluff just doesn’t have. With f* you are making a statement. With fluff you’re making a comment. People will still hear fluff out of my mouth, but f* is definitely back.

Life. Laugh. Thrive.

3 thoughts on “potty mouth

  1. Sometimes you just have to let it out! I’m with you tho, hubby told me I should have been born a sailor🤣

  2. ha ha just so you know ass and arse are exactly the same. I admire your restraint and your ability to just let it fly when the need arises.

  3. In an Actor’s Studio interview many moons ago, Alan Alda was asked what his favourite curse word is/was.
    He noted that he ran the gamut in his head and came out with ‘horse’.
    Doesn’t have the same emphasis as f*! 😉

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