thinking too much

Do you ever wonder about the decisions you make?

I took today off work to deal with the fact that I have to purge my bowels for surgery tomorrow. Adds a whole new dimension to the constipation/diarrhea problems I’ve had over the past 18 months!!

But I think I did myself a disfavour as well. All I have done is THINK.

Is this the right decision?  . . . Can I handle one more surgery? . . . Please let this one be textbook!!! . . . What if it isn’t??? . . .  Am I ready for instantaneous menopause? [No more period is appealing, it’s the rest I’m worried about.] . . . What if I’m doing this for nothing??

Shut up Gayle. Please.

I know I’m more afraid of this surgery. I had a nightmare that I got out of bed and my guts came through my incision.

For all my humour and bravado, I’m just a big coward at heart.

As soon as I can sit for 10 minutes, I’ll update you all.

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namaste