to buy or not to buy

That is definitely the question I ask myself frequently these days.

When I got my metastatic diagnosis, one of the things I did as I absorbed the news was to start cutting back on things. For example–

  • I cancelled my Spotify account (I wasn’t listening to it a lot anyway);
  • I dropped my pay-period charity donations;
  • I returned my ProPass (payroll-deducted bus pass);
  • I cancelled my buddhify annual account (you get more features with the paid membership than the free one);
  • I considered all of the other ‘extra’ costs and pared of some of them;
  • I dropped the idea of a tattoo on my chest (to celebrate life and cover my scars) – it would have been an approximate $700 cost all in;
  • I dropped the second tattoo I wanted — it would have been a ‘mom’ tattoo commemorating the 20 years since she passed; both Mom and I share a second name: Ursulla, which means ‘little bear’; the idea was to get the constellation Ursa Minor as a tattoo (thus, not a blatant ‘mom’ tattoo);
  • I am contemplating the renewal on my Medic Alert membership (up at the end of August);
  • I worry about the hosting renewal on this blog (up in February next year);
  • I look at jewellery pendants and things like that a lot but nothing purchased (won’t versus can’t);
  • Originally I had stopped any purchases (stickers, stamps) related to my bullet journal, but I’ve started up again and that makes me very happy;
  • and more.

So, every purchase or investment made is about need versus want. Hindsight being what it is, of course I realize that two of those are items that could help me in the downtime (Spotify for podcasts and buddhify for anxiety relief), but not right now. Though, I must admit that wants are making their way back (e.g., books).

I had an almost meltdown this week, I decided I wanted to buy what one of my favourite clothing stores describe as comfort shorts (and they ARE!). I told Vince what I wanted to do, I kept waiting for him to object or argue against getting them. Once I had them purchased I thanked Vince and made some sort of comment about probably shouldn’t have purchased them given the prognosis. These are those comfort shorts that I purchased—

Thanks to Blue Sky Clothing Co. for the images

Vince very quickly and firmly reminded me that we don’t know how long and this is something I shouldn’t hold back on. Given that I’m working from home now, it surely wouldn’t have made sense to buy something more appropriate for the office. BTW, what prompted the desire was a special weather statement announcing a heat warning:

Daytime maximums will reach the low 30’s today and Monday.

Environment Canada

I am SO not a fan of the heat (as I’ve made abundantly clear on more than one occasion). And while Vince and I don’t have air conditioning, we do have fans. But clothing choices can also help.

Live. Laugh. Thrive.❣

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