two years

Yesterday’s appointment card went a long way to helping with the blues I have been in this week. You see, I tried to ignore it this year. But the fact is, I’m just too conscious of this date. And a lot emotional. Well, I was simply emotional until yesterday and now I’m at “a lot” emotional. Tears abound.

So let’s take stock together.

  1. I lost my breasts.
    While I am comfortable with the “no breast” state I am in, I do miss the girls.

  2. I lost my naivete.
    We all know we’re going to die, few of us face our mortality so blatantly. I know now what it means to be alive.

  3. I lost my self-confidence.
    Emotionally this proved to be the most disturbing to me.
    I am slowly regaining this confidence, but it is a gradual process.

  4. I have permanent nerve damage in my feet.
  5. I have permanent nerve damage in one finger on my left hand.
    I’d love to figure out how or why only one finger was affected, let alone why only one hand when it’s both feet.

  6. I have lymphedema.
    Controlled, thank goodness.

  7. I have an indigestion problem that may never resolve.
  8. I have all the symptoms of menopause that make a woman crazy: hot flashes, overheating (lack of body temperature “control”) and insomnia.
  9. I have my priorities VERY straight.
    Okay, this is a plus.

  10. I know who my family is.
    And trust me, it’s not about blood, it’s about the heart.

  11. I know that each day is a blessing.

I believe in possibilities. Still.

Love to all.

_________
namaste

2 thoughts on “two years

  1. You forgot one…you’re a survivor, come what may, you now have the survival instinct built in to your wiring, and that will never go away – God willing.
    Go strong and remain the ‘essential Gayle’ that we all know and love!
    Big Hugs and kisses
    KTBS

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