My nephew (V’s sister’s son) and his wife had a due date of July 12 to welcome their first born child. The pregnancy, from what I can tell, progressed as any pregnancy does. I followed along through social media – they are in Ontario, we are here in B.C. The last social media post I remember was just the previous week as my nephew’s wife posted about ‘cankles’.

On Wednesday A. felt ‘off’ and the baby wasn’t moving. They went to the hospital and then received the news: their baby had died. If that wasn’t bad enough, they still had to go through with the birth and they opted to induce. Both S. and A. held baby Swales afterwards. ‘Heartbreaking’ as a word seems just not enough. The word alone cannot describe the power behind the love and the pain in that moment and in the days to come.

When the unthinkable happens, how do you find the words to offer comfort during grief? I am at a complete loss for words, not just because of what happened, but because I’ve never experienced this type of loss and grief.

We send our love and our hugs to S. and A.

The impermanence of this floating world
I feel over and over
It is hardest to be the one left behind.
—Ōtagaki Rengetsu

1 thought on “unthinkable

  1. oh God that is so heartbreaking. How do you come back from that. I will pray hard for them. Alas it is all we can do. So sorry for your family’s loss.

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